Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Uh, as the world around us races forward in search of tomorrow's breakthroughs, join us as we discover the insights that have shaped Jewish life for centuries.
Together, we'll study with Judaism's greatest minds, exploring timeless wisdom that continues to guide and inspire.
You're listening to Inside the Jewish Mind.
JLI podcasts.
What if happiness isn't something to chase, but a choice you can make?
In this 2012 talk, Miriam Lipsker explores happiness through a Jewish lens. Rooted in daily choices, soulful perspective, and timeless Jewish wisdom. Um, she shows that true happiness isn't waiting somewhere in the future.
It's found in how we choose to live each moment and offers practical steps to help us get there.
Let's get started.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: A couple weeks ago, I was driving down the road and I saw a huge billboard. Coca Cola is obviously international, uh, business, but in Atlanta, being that it's the hub and the headquarters, very often they roll out their new ad campaigns in the city and see how it goes. And their latest one, the most recent campaign, which I saw driving down the road, was the old classic glass Coca Cola bottle pouring. And there are two words on the billboard. It said open happiness.
And I'm driving and I'm thinking, if it was only that simple. But then as I'm, um, continuing to drive, I think that's so brilliant because not everyone likes Coca Cola, but everyone wants happiness. And the advertisement is basically saying, if you want to be happy, the solution or something that will help you achieve happiness is Coca Cola. If it were only that easy. Um, but I thought it was very brilliant. Almost as brilliant as the woman sitting next to me on the plane here, uh, traveling from Newark Airport. I was with my baby who was 15 months old, and she was kind of behaving herself for that, those few minutes. The woman across the aisle from me had a five or six year old kid who was just being an obnoxious, rambunctious kid, you know, didn't want to put his seatbelt on. She kept pulling out toys and activities. He was throwing markers, he was kicking, he was pulling the tray, uh, table up and down. Typical stuff. And the mother kept telling him, first very patiently, and then continued to get a little bit more nervous as time went by. You're so lucky to be traveling. When I was your age, I never went on a plane, I never went anywhere. And she's telling him how lucky he is. And you have, look at these markers I bought you. And as like she's continuing to tell him how privileged and lucky he is and he should feel he's acting more and more obnoxious until finally I'm kind of not looking because I also have a five and six year old and I could have seen the same situation happening. So I'm giving her the privacy to deal with her kid without people from the next aisle staring at her. And then all of a sudden I hear her say, can you just shut up and be happy?
And I was like, yeah, that's going to work. Imagine, right? Just shut up and be happy. But the truth is, happiness is something that's a struggle and a challenge for every single one of us. Because as different as we all may be, and the backgrounds and the families that we come from, the life situations and circumstances that we have, we're all different and we all want different things. Happiness means different things to different people.
If, uh, you have to write a list of things that would make you happy, it may be very different from your friends, although some of it will overlap. Everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to have wholesome relationships. People want to be successful in life. People want to achieve and acquire things or accomplishments, uh, and achievements. So there's some similarity, but there's a lot of room for difference. And it's a fascinating thing because it's something that in our culture probably is on the top of the list of what people are trying to achieve. I just want to be happy and feel not very satisfied in acquiring or reaching that goal.
So, um, two years ago, Emory University hosted a symposium. It was called the Pursuit of Happiness Conference. And we have on our professor, honorary professor team, the Dalai Lama. So he comes every couple years to Emory. And whenever he comes, they do a big, uh, you know, some sort of symposium or a panel or a big event.
And this year what they did was they brought, the Dalai Lama was there, they had a very famous Muslim, uh, cleric and a Christian minister, very famous in their own way. And the Jewish representative was the Chief Rabbi of Great Britain, Lord Jonathan Sacks. And these four people were gonna be on an all day symposium called the Happiness Conference.
And I'm gonna be honest with you, because you're all students, you might relate to this. I don't know if it's just an Emory thing. When they have happiness symposiums or, you know, guest events, they're very poorly attended. Famous people, you know, well known people. And I think it might just be because if you're in classes all day long, then, you know, it's evening. The clubs, the bars, the parties, sorority fraternities, calls a little louder than another lecture. And so they're Usually I've always been shocked to go to an event where, like, a big name is going to be and, like, where are all the students? There's faculty, there's professors, a sprinkling of students. It could be Emory, whatever. Um, anyway, this event, everyone was really excited about, and I assumed it was because of the topic happiness. You have the Dalai Lama. Anyway, um, two girls were over at the Chabad House. And these are girls who weren't involved and never, ever came to a class or Friday night dinner, any holiday or Jewish event. But I had a really close relationship with them because they were interested in two things. They were involved in our friendship circle, on our board. We basically. Most of you probably know what friendship circle is. For us, it's Emory, um, students who volunteer with children in the local community who have special needs. And we have a very strong board and very active. So these two girls were on the friendship Circle board, but again, never for Shabbos dinner. They're not interested in Judaism as a faith, religious, helping people, and Tikkun Olam they enjoy, but not other, uh, aspects. And also Israel was something that they would come out for occasionally. Anyway, so I was sitting with these two girls, and they're telling me, we're going to hear the Dalai Lama tonight. Like, how cool is that? The Dalai Lama, you know, the guy with the orange and red robe, you know, And I was like, yeah, um, like, he's talking about happiness. We're so excited. So I said, yeah, but, you know, I wish I could go. I have a previous engagement. I can't go. But I said, there's. The Jewish representative is the chief Rabbi of Great Britain. He's fantastic. He's unbelievable. He's incredible. And they're like, yeah, whatever. Like, we're going to hear the Dalai Lama, basically. And I tried again. I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like, brilliant. You're going to love listening to them. They're like, whatever, we're going to hear the Dalai Lama. It's been real. We'll see you.
Sure enough, the next day, I get one text message and one phone call from each of these two girls, telling me in their own way.
One of them told me, she's like, I was so proud to be Jewish, because in her words, this isn't politically correct. The rabbi wipe the floor with everyone. And I'm like, that's not very His Holiness. This is not very respectful to say that the rabbi doesn't wipe floors with anybody. Not these very prestigious people. So it wasn't my words but this is. And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I didn't go to hear the rabbi. I actually had no interest.
I know you were trying to, like, pump him up, but I was like, yeah, whatever. Another bearded guy, not interesting. Me, whatever. She's like, everything he said, I was so proud to be Jewish because he was representing me and my faith, which I didn't even know about. But everything he said, uh, the whole. It wasn't just me. There were almost 2,000 students there, which is historical. Doesn't happen.
And everyone was blown away every time he spoke. He was funny, he was engaging, he laughed.
And I was so happy that, like, he's mine, you know, like, that's my rabbi, as opposed to. I thought I was just going to hear the Dalai Lama, and this is what they told me. So I. Of course, I invited them for coffee because I wanted to hear. What did he actually say that was so impressive? Forget that you really like them, but what was the message that you walked away with? And so what one of the girls shared with me, which was probably. I felt, really meaningful because it was from a student who didn't have a real interest or appreciation in what Judaism means.
And as much as she's a wonderful person and a great person, uh, in many ways, when it came to practicing or studying about her faith, it wasn't something that interested her. She liked doing things, and she loved Israel, and that was that.
And she told me. She's like, you know, I don't remember a lot of what happened. It was, like a couple of hours. But I learned one thing that I never knew before. And I said, what is that? And she tells me. She's like, you know what our name is? Like, you know what we're called? And I'm like, I can think of a lot of things we're called. Good, bad, ugly, you name it. Like, what do you mean? She's like, no, we say Jewish. Like, that's our definition. But the real name that is ours is Am um Yisroel. You know, like, Am Yisroel Chai Eretz Yisroel. The Land of Israel. We're the Israelites, right? And I'm like, yeah, I heard that. You know?
And she's like, but you know how we got that name? And I'm like, tell me.
So she said, well, the rabbi said something, and this. She's like, it was kind of complicated, but, like, I followed, like, everything he said, and it blew me away. How did we get that name, Am Yisroel the people of Israel or the nation of Israel or the land of Israel. Where did that come from? So she said, the rabbi told us a story from, you know, one of the books or whatever. Like. Like Genesis, whatever. No biggie.
The rabbi told this story that one of our forefathers, she's like, whatever that means.
Um, his name was Jacob. You know, I have a friend named Jacob, so I could relate. Whatever.
He, um, got into a fight with an angel. Shek. Weird. I don't know how that happens, but it represented something big. I'm telling you, in her words, how she's describing. I'm listening with bated breath. This is very fascinating to me. I didn't have a fight with an angel. It represented good and evil, dark and light. It was like something really, you know, from, like, Shakespeare, you know, she's telling me. And they got into this fight, and they're struggling, and they're wrestling, and it's like a real, like, physical fight. And Jacob, um, wins.
He gets injured, his hip, whatever, but he wins. And before he lets go of the angel, she's like, you know, the rabbi kept repeating this line in Hebrew, but, like, I don't have dental insurance to cover whatever words those were. But the something that the Jacob, our forefather, held on to the angel, and he said, I'm, um, not letting go of you until you bless me. And she's like. The rabbi said that sentence in Hebrew a bunch of times, but, like, I'm holding on.
And so the angel blessed our forefather, Jacob. And you know what the angel said to Jacob? And I'm like, no, what did he say? She's like, your name's not Jacob anymore. Your name is Yisrael is Israel. Why? Because, uh, what does that word mean?
Yisrael means I struggled, I fought, or I was challenged, I battled with God.
And she's like. And, um, what happened from that battle after that struggle? Jacob didn't let go until he was blessed. Which teaches us, who are we as a people? We always are struggle. We're always in battle. We're always in conflict with. In internally, externally, with the people we live amongst within ourselves. But we never let go until we get a blessing from it. We always walk away from every struggle stronger. Every situation that we're in where there's conflict, we walk away blessed and greater and stronger from it. And that's why we're still here. That's all in our name. And she was explaining to me why it really touched her was because she. She loves Helping children with special needs. And they struggle on a daily level with just life, just the basic things that we take for granted. You know, eating, playing, socializing. They struggle. But then how can you become a better, stronger, happier person? Is if every time you're struggling with something and it doesn't matter what it is, you. You come away a stronger person. You come away gaining from the experience. And she's like, that just blew me away. That, that's in our name. That's who we are.
This was awesome. Anyway, so we had a long discussion. It was very nice. But the truth of the matter is, it's not as simple as it sounds, because everybody in our society knows that it's a. That's very heavily based on consumerism. Everything is for sale. Everything that you want, if you achieve it, if you buy it, if you get it, that will make you happy. And we all know, some of us learn it sooner, some of us later, that if you do get, you know, that Cartier watch you want or that new laptop or that new car or that vacation to wherever you get it, and then somehow or the other it didn't do what you thought it would do for you or that relationship or that person in your life, it doesn't matter what the range is, you really want it. If I only have that, and if I only lose those 20 pounds, and if I only get into that school, if I only get that job, if I only get those shoes with that guy, my, uh, life's made. I'm going to be really happy. And then it happens sometimes, not always. And then you're like, okay, time to find something new, because it's not really working. And the truth of the matter is, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure this out. Because if happiness had something to do with what you acquire, then wouldn't it make sense that the people in our society who have it all, they look great, they sound great, they're famous, they're powerful, they're wealthy, they're actors, they're directors, they're actresses, whatever it is that they've achieved, they're famous, they can do anything. They would be the happiest people in our culture. And without doing any research, just going to the food store, I could tell you that doesn't look to be the case. Because as you're checking out and they're swiping your eggs and they're, you know, I see, you know, this one's coming out of rehab, that one's babysitter is replaced from that one's wife, this one's kids. I mean, not talking to the. It's like, this doesn't look healthy and functional and happy. And these are supposed to be the people who made it. These are the people that we want to hear all about their lives because these are the successful ones. So without getting any deeper than that, it doesn't look like that's really the answer.
And what was interesting was when we were having this discussion with, uh, these two students, I said, the interesting thing about it is the name of this conference was called the Pursuit of Happiness Conference.
And I'm like, that's really the problem. We're all guaranteed in our very founding fathers, you know, the legal documents. Everyone's entitled to the pursuit of happiness. I was like, you know what? If the pursuit of happiness is our goal, then that is our problem. Because Judaism teaches something profoundly different. If you're pursuing happiness, you're always running. Not necessarily. Is that what you're going to find? There was a story told about a Hasidic master who's in a marketplace, and he sees these vendors and these. These, um, you know, stall and shopkeepers running around like chickens without heads from, you know, trying to sell and make a purchase and buy and hustle. And, you know, they're like, running around. And he taps one on the shoulder and he says, so, how's business?
You know, you making a living? And the guy says, no, it's terrible. Everything I try, it's. I'm running, I'm going. I'm trying to bargain and barter and check. It's a disaster. I can't rub two pennies together. So the Hasidic master says to him, maybe you're running, chasing, looking to find your livelihood, but perhaps if you stop, it's behind you and it will catch up to you. Maybe you're running, but you're running away from it. Maybe you're so busy and your livelihoods trying to catch up for you, but you're not.
Sit down, stop, slow down. What is it all about? And sometimes we're so busy in pursuit of happiness that we don't realize it may be in a different direction behind us, and we need to stop and let it catch up to us. But more importantly than that, Judaism has a profoundly different view on what it takes to be happy. If you're chasing happiness, you may have a few successes along the way, but ultimately, who says you're getting to that goal? Because in Judaism, the goal is.
I don't know if I'm going to tell you this yet. I think I'll wait a second.
In Judaism, it's an unbelievable concept to think that in every book, anything you ever will come across studying, whether it's the Torah, the five books of the Torah, the Neviim, the Prophets, Megillahs, scribes, anything in the written Torah in Judaism has numerous references, directives, and even instructions that we must be happy. In psalms, it tells us we need to serve God with joy. We should celebrate at this time, we should be happy at this occasion. We should cheer up the poor, the needy. We're told so many times in so many ways by so many people that we need to be happy. An obvious question is.
Look, listen, God. You're telling me what I should eat and what I shouldn't eat, when I should rest, how I should. This. What I. You know, I should help the old lady across the street. I should put a few coins in a. In a. In a bucket. I should tie black straps to my hand. I should light candles. Okay, whatever. But you're telling me I should be in a good mood also.
What kind of chutzpah is that? Not only is it a chutzpah, but my bad mood. You know whose fault it is? Yours. You gave me these parents. You gave me this crummy situation. You gave me. You know, I got accepted to this school where every. There's nobody here for me to talk to or whatever. The list could be different for everyone. Don't.
But God's telling me, be in a good mood. Serve God with joy. Whatever you're doing, it should be with a happy, smiling face. Greet everybody with joy. All these verses and these directives. We should be happy. You're telling me to be happy? The reason why I'm not happy is your fault. You want to give me better circumstances and. And better situations. I'll be happy. It'll be simple. If you change all of these things. Here, Here's a list. Change this. Get rid of this person. Upgrade the, uh, you know, my. My monthly stipend. Downgrade my, you know, intellectual capacity so I could get 4.0 without killing myself. Let me be a little more social, little taller, smaller nose, you know, bigger, whatever. I mean, then I'll be happy. It's very simple. God, you could fix it. All right. It's a simple. It's a simple solution.
And what happens? You guys ever wake up in the morning and put your foot into a sock and your toe gets stuck in, like, the threads that are. That are there in the inside of your sock? Anyone? It's only my socks. That do that. Like, it's the toe trapping socks. No one has these a little bit. And I'm thinking it's 2012. You can't figure out how to make socks that don't get your toes caught on your way down into the sock. Like, I don't have time for this.
But what really is going on on the outside? There's a great pattern. Whatever. It's argyle, perfect.
The diamonds, the X Inside, there's 4 million threads going in a hundred different directions. If you turn that sock inside out, you don't see argyle. You see someone doesn't know how to sew a sock. This is a disaster, right?
It's really life. We see most of our lives from the inside of our sock. Threads going in different directions, events that happen, situations, traumas, sorrows, conflict in issues, people, politics. It's a pile of thread. This is, you know, I want a refund. I'm throwing these. I'm going barefoot. I'm not wearing these anymore. Really. On the outside of the sock, there's a perfect picture. And if every single thread wasn't going in exactly that direction on that exact angle, my life wouldn't be this picture it's supposed to be. Sounds very nice, but it doesn't always work so well, right? Because we get the inside, the sock view. God, lucky for him, how convenient. Sees everything perfectly. There's a perfect picture. So what happens? How do we achieve some semblance of happiness and comfort?
Judaism tells us it's all in our attitude. It's all how we see things. Now, is it possible for a human being to see their life the way God does?
I don't know about you, but it ain't working for me, right? It's very nice that God has a perfect plan and a perfect picture and everything makes sense. But in my life today, I'm struggling with this, and how am I paying the mortgage? And how's this kid going to stop fighting with this kid? And how's this person? I mean, all the issues that I have, how am I supposed to see this as a perfect picture? It's not so simple. There were two disciples of the Magid of Mizrich, who was a great Hasidic master. He was, uh, a disciple of the founder of the Hasidic movement, the BAAL Shem Tov. And they were studying a track date in the Talmud that drove them berserk. What did it say in the Talmud?
Listen to this. If you're thinking to take a nap and now is not a good time, a person A human being should be happy, grateful and thankful and appreciative to God when something bad happens to him, just as when something good happens. And they're sitting there and they're like, hold on, let's. Let's go over that verse again. And they read it again, and that's what it says. You should be equally happy when something good or bad happens to you.
Hello, we're not angels. We're not God, we're people. Something bad happens to me. I'm angry, I'm ticked off. And if something good happens to me, okay, maybe if I'm in the mood, I'll say thank you or I'll be appreciative. But it's certainly not going to happen that something bad happens to me. And I say, thank you, dear God, you know, for causing me to flunk my. I mean, it's not going to happen. They were very disturbed, so they went to the Magid, their teacher, and they said, could you explain this first to us? It doesn't make sense.
And the maggot said, you know what, my dear students, I can't help you, but I know someone who could. His name is Zusha and he lives in Annapoli. Go travel to him and he'll give you the answer. You're shaking your head. You heard about this guy, Zusha, Great guy, right? So they're like, we're gonna go travel to Zusha now. Um, this wasn't like, we're jumping in the car, we're going down the freeway. We might have to pay a toll. This is, you know, two weeks in Russia in the cold, in the mud, in the snow. Not so simple. But they're committed to getting to the bottom of this. How could God tell people that this should be a reality in their lives? They travel, they get to the town of Anapoli. They ask everyone, where is Zusha? Where's Zusha? And everyone's pointing, you know, keep going, keep going, all the way to the end of the village. Sure enough, they rock up at the most dilapidated looking hovel. The shutters are hanging on by a thread. The roof's caving in, the windows crack. This is like, forget the housing department banning this place. It should be burnt down now. And they're like, okay, like we arrived.
So they knock on the door very gently. They didn't want it to fall off of its hinges. The door opens and this guy is smiling and beaming. And he looks at them and he's like, welcome. To what do I owe this great honor and privilege, disciples of the magid coming to see me, Humble Zusha, come in, sit down. And they're like, mhm, yeah, it's going to be easy being that there's straw for chairs, whatever. Anyway, they come inside and, and so what brought you here?
And they said, well, obviously we came to see you and you know, things look great. But um, we were actually sent here by the Maghreb because we had a question in our studies and he said that you would have the answer. Me, Humble Zusha has the answer for you. What's the question? So they tell him this thing that they were studying about God, saying we should be happy for the equally for the good and the bad and we don't understand it and we were told you would give us some insight.
Okay, Zusha gets up and he starts stroking his beard, maybe, I don't know, walking around the room. And he's pacing and he's chuckling. And after some time he comes back to them and he says, I'm so sorry, but I don't think I could help you.
I don't have the answer. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. Uh, we've been traveling for two weeks. You're Zusha from Anipal. This is the right guy. He, you're going to need to work a little harder, come up with something, because you're the guy with the answer. So just think of something, tell us whatever. So she said, I'm going to think. And he's again pacing and thinking. Finally he comes to him and he says, I'm so sorry, your dilemma, your question was how can a person be happy when something negative happens, when there's a struggle, when there's a challenge in their life. And the reason why I don't have an answer for you, or uh, it would be a chutzpah for me to think that I have the answer. Because in my whole life I've never had anything bad happen to me.
I've never been presented with a challenge. And so I'm going to tell you how to react. When I've never been in those shoes, I've never experienced something negative.
So these two disciples are like, mm, mhm. Take one last look around here.
Okay.
And I could only imagine that for those two weeks that they had to travel home, they had a lot to talk about. Because the truth of the matter is most of us will never achieve that state of being. Where Reb Zusha was at, which is the physical world is just physical details. It doesn't affect my happiness, my contentment, my Joy. It's not a struggle. It's not a challenge. That's something that's way beyond the reach of most people. But to understand the concept behind it, that my attitude, how I view things, how I view situation, changes everything.
That's profound. That is something that could, um, blow someone's mind because it changes your whole life. And the truth is, the Hebrew word for simcha, for happiness, is related to the Hebrew word mah shava, which means mind. It's in your mind. You would think that the people who accumulate the most happy circumstances go to the most parties and the most joyous events and the most vacations. They acquired so many happy, fun moments. Therefore, they're the happiest people. And that's not the truth. The truth lies much deeper than that. The people who sometimes have to struggle more than others and work, they end up being the people who find deep, real inner contentment and happiness and joy because of the struggle. Because life wasn't so simple. And it's not the things that you see and you touch and you feel and you could show off to others that make you happy. It's the stuff that goes on deep inside. And so in a classroom m In Russia, there was, uh, a teacher who, as a good commie, was, uh, educating the class with, uh, some nice communist doctrine to start off the morning. And she says to the kids, all right, everybody, do you see the blackboard? And all the kids are like, duh. You know, sure, we see it. So she says, okay, that's because it exists. She points. Does everyone see the window? And the kids look, da. You know, whatever. Spasiba. Sure. Good. It exists. And she points all around the room. You see the floor, the wall, the ceiling? Every time they say yes, she says, that's because it's real. It exists.
Finally, she gets to the punchline, and she says, does anyone see God?
The kids are all looking around.
No.
So she says, that's because he doesn't exist.
Okay, we got the point. Great lesson, right? Until Chaim Jainko in the back corner of the room raises his hand and he says, uh, does anybody see the teacher's brain?
And the kids all look around, and he says, maybe it's because she doesn't have one.
Right? Because you know why? If we view our lives in terms of what we have and what we see and what we could touch and wear and live in and drive and play on, and we're getting a little part of life, but the depth and the meaning and the things that really count and give us True happiness and contentment, the love, the relationships, the satisfaction of putting effort into something, of doing something beyond your capabilities, of going out of yourself, all of that, the stuff that is really what life is about, we don't see that. You can't see that. You can see the physical, you can't see the spiritual. And so the real pursuit of happiness being the problem is, in Judaism, the solution is don't pursue happiness. You may not find it. You may be running and chasing it, and it may be behind you or around the corner or across the globe. You might not ever get there.
But if you pursue your soul, if you pursue your connection that every single person has with their creator and. And why you're here and your purpose and the meaning of your life and what you're here to contribute, if you pursue that, it's not a party, it's not fun, it's not loud music and a good glass of whatever it is or four glasses, whatever it takes. For you, it doesn't look like a party. But pursuing things that matter and pursuing things that count, pursuing that of your soul leads to true happiness, leads to the end goal of feeling contentment and peace and joy. And the funny thing is, we said before, a lot of people have the question, how could God tell me to be happy if his circumstances that he caused in my life are what's causing me to be miserable and depressed? And really, this whole consumerism, I would say the fine people at Lilly Pharmaceutical who produce Prozac think this is a great system. Tell people if they only buy this and get that and do this, they'll be happy. And ha, ha, it's not true. You have to buy something else, upgrade the price tag, get something bigger.
You can chase your tail your whole life and never stop to look behind you and say, you know what? It's inside of me.
What I need to be happy is appreciating what I do have, being grateful for what is mine, appreciating the good things that I have in my life. And I just want to tell you something. This is very important.
Judaism tells us this is what we have to do. We have to change our attitude. We have to work hard. It says, um. It comes from the word avodah, which means work. It's not easy. It doesn't come easy. Every day you have to get up and wrestle and fight with yourself to view things in the proper way. But the interesting thing about it is you're never, ever allowed to use this on anybody else.
It doesn't look like everyone got what I said, if someone calls you up, or a friend's crying to you, or someone's telling you, my life is so difficult. I have these challenges. I'm struggling with this. My relationship, my family, my finances. Whatever the issue, you're not allowed to say, have a better attitude. Look at it positively, Just perk up. You're not allowed to tell that to somebody else. You're not allowed to explain a Holocaust, personal or global. That's not our business. We don't know why God causes what we see to be, in our viewpoint, terrible tragedies and injustices. Children, adults, families torn apart, death, hunger, starvation. We cannot explain it. We do not know why God causes terrible things to happen. In our viewpoint, we see the strings. We don't see the big picture. And don't pretend you do. And don't tell anyone to cheer up when something bad happens to them.
Your job, when somebody comes to you and complains and says, I'm struggling with this, I'm in pain because of this, is to be kind, sympathetic, empathetic, roll up your sleeves, lend a hand, cook them dinner, take them out, cheer them up, do whatever you can possibly do within your capabilities to help that other person. Don't tell them. Have a good attitude. Just change the way you look at it. It'll all be fine.
What is important to know is this concept of viewing your life in a way of positivity and changing your attitude is only something you can apply to yourself. It works if you apply it only to yourself and never try to do it to anyone else. Interesting.
Besides, for the two students who are so blown away, why we're called B' Nai Yisroel, because we struggled with God and then we wouldn't let go until we were blessed, until we came away with something positive from our challenge. We also called something else Yehudim or Jude, Jews, Judah. Why are we called Yehudim? The word Yehuda comes from the word hoda, uh, or toda, which means thanks, appreciation, gratefulness, whatever happens to us. And we all know, even if you're not a history buff and you don't know a whole lot about what went on the last 3,000 years of our history, you just know it wasn't pretty. Kicked out of here, expelled from there, persecuted here, gassed there, it wasn't a pretty history.
But we're here today, 3,000 years later, because from every negative experience, collectively as a people, we need to walk away stronger. We need to come away with something positive, with something that gives us energy and strength to get to tomorrow and make tomorrow good, even if yesterday was really crummy. And the end of the day is it's all about what you hear in the background when something's happening and again, in your own mind. So when the Hasidic movement was first established, the group wasn't called Hasidim or Hasidism. You know what they were called? Der Freylacher, the happy ones. Why? Because, you know, that picture of like the bearded, you know, hatted, tuxedo ish wearing rabbi, dancing, doing a little horror, or a kazatska. The concept initially in the Hasidic movement was, yes, you're a scholar and you connect to God and you study and you're very holy and you have a to do list of all these commandments that you take care of every day and you take very seriously. But even if you're simple and even if you don't know a lot, and even if you're never going to be a great sage, you need to be happy and enjoy the fact that you're just as connected to God as anyone else. Your neshama is no smaller, no more dull than anybody else. And celebrate and experience the joy of knowing that I'm a part of this holy people equally as, uh, anybody else. And the Hasidic movement started with this concept of infusing light and life and joy in the masses. So one fellow approached the founder of the Hasidic movement. The said, what's up with you people all day long, you know, breaking out to dance and a song. Like, you don't understand that the world's, you know, going to hell in a hand basket. Everything's crashing around us, and you guys are smiling and dancing like, what are you guys, a bunch of goons? A bunch of fools? How could you dance and be happy when this is life? So the BAAL Shem Tov told him this story. He said, good question. I'm going to answer with a little, a little anecdote. There was a brilliant, talented musician who lived in a town undiscovered, wasn't famous. No one paid him the big bucks to play on a big stage.
But he would play music that would stir people's heart to their very core. Happy, sad, you name it. He could evoke emotion because his music was so beautiful. And one day he's playing on the street corner, it's a Tuesday afternoon, and he's strumming his violin or whatever instrument it was. And sure enough, one person stops, another person stops, another person stops. And everybody's drawn into this Unbelievable music. And as he continues to play the beat of this rhythm that he's playing, this gets happier and more lively and more upbeat. And one person starts to dance and another. And sure enough, everybody's dancing in a circle with joy and exuberance because of this beautiful music in the center of the marketplace.
A deaf person walks out of his home, and he stops on the street corner.
He's like, what the heck's going on here? It's Tuesday afternoon. It's market day. Everyone's supposed to be selling their, you know, chickens and eggs and, you know, changing milk for frogs, whatever they do in the market.
And they're all dancing around this guy. What? What? Is everyone God mad? Has the world come to an end? What's going on? He couldn't understand.
So the BAAL Shem Tov turned to this fellow and said, what was this man's problem?
Nothing, except he saw what was going on, but he couldn't hear the music. If he heard the music, he wouldn't have had any question. In our lives, we see the situations, we see the events, and they're not always good. They don't always make sense. But do we hear the music, the music of our soul that tells us we're connected to something greater? And if I feed my soul and if I pursue my soul and if I try to do things that make my soul happy, maybe I'll be a happier person. I might have less things.
You know, I might not be as, uh, glitzy as this one or that one, but inside the peace and the contentment from knowing that I'm doing what I need to do, and I'm living a life that has meaning and value. And I'm, um. I'm someone that's contributing to the world in a positive way because of the talents and capabilities that God gave me. That's real happiness.
Real happiness is not a fun event. Someone once explained it to me this way. Fun is something at the time, if you're doing something and you're having fun, but then after, you kind of like, hmm, m. I don't know what happened there. I don't remember that event so well. Uh, I'm not sure who I said what to. And the next day, you're a little nervous, a little uncomfortable. That was a fun event. That wasn't a happy event.
Sorry, I don't mean to, you know, burst your bubble, but if something while you're doing it may be hard work, it may be difficult, you're struggling, you're working really hard. But afterwards you feel a sense of satisfaction and happiness.
It wasn't fun during, but it's happy after.
And that's something very hard to really incorporate in our lives because we just want to have fun. And even if we're going to have to be a little uncomfortable tomorrow and sleep in and be hungover for a few days to recover from the fun event, we'll do that for enough years until we're like, you know what? I'm not a happier person. I'm not actually having as much fun as I thought I was having. And when you wake up one day and you smell the hummus and you realize, parties are good. Judaism doesn't rain on any parties. Fabring, enjoy, socialize, have a blast. But don't forget, think that's what's going to bring you happiness. That's a fun event. All for it. Judaism is not raining on the parade. But just know real, deep, meaningful happiness comes from changing our perspective and changing our attitude and seeing things differently. You've all probably experienced the Havdala service, or Havdala, uh, uh, you'll have tomorrow night if, uh, you haven't done it before. Very short service. Shabbat goes out. One paragraph is said. We got a couple of props thrown in there, a candle, some spots, you know, make it real. One of the verses that we say in this Havdala ceremony comes from the Megillah, and it's an interesting verse. We say it every single week of the year.
What's this verse? It says la Yehudim. Right, Yehudim. The thankful, grateful, appreciative ones which we are striving to be. Haisa ora v' simcha vesason bikar. To the Jews, there was light and joy and gladness and honor.
Sounds lovely. Except what's the light about? What? They got electricity back then in Persia. Like, what do you mean, light? Practically speaking. What are you talking about? Happiness and joy. They were happy. Not to go into the Purim story that the decree was overthrown and life was moving along in a good direction today. Thank God, no one, you know, we weren't being killed today. No massacre is going on today. No, it was a good day. Okay, we get it. What does it mean? Light. The Jews had light and they were happy.
So? So, of course, In Judaism, there's 101 nations and details to what that means. So many verses.
Explain. Orah comes from the word Torah. They had Torah. They were reconnected with their mission, with who they were, with God. They weren't separate. They weren't fragmented anymore. But on a more simple level, they had light. What is. What's the difference between light and darkness? If I shut this.
Shut out all the lights in here, and I told you guys, you're sitting in a room. There's hot pink walls, there's a black tiled floor. There's green chandeliers, there's birds flying around. And everyone in this room has yellow hair and black fingernails.
No one would know if it's true or not, because the light's out. We can't see anything.
If I flick on the light, everyone sees what is here. So there is no difference if the light's open or the lights close. Everything's exactly in the room as it appears. Except with the light out, I don't see any of it. And it could be whatever I want it to be. This room could be empty. This room could be this big, this.
But if the lights on, I just see what is. I just see what really exists. So what does it mean? The Jews had light. They saw how life really was. They saw the outside of the sock. They saw the real picture, not the threads. They were able to appreciate God's view of their life, what their purpose and meaning was, not all the disconjointed threads of their life that made no sense and caused pain and suffering.
Every once in a while in our lives, we had that opportunity. We were able to look back and say, ah, I see why that happened. That way, I see why I got into the school that I didn't want to go to. Maybe because I had to meet that person. Or once in a while, we're given that moment where we see the light. What does it mean? I see the light. The circumstances didn't change. Nothing in the room changed. Everything is the same. But I really can see. I can see in a spiritual way what's really supposed to happen. My vision's different, my attitude's different, my perspective's different. And that makes all the difference.
So, yeah, Coca Cola tells you, open happiness. And you're like, all right, I just did it. I'm kind of feeling, you know, that it's flat and there's no bubbles. I'm a little depressed about it. It doesn't come out of a Coke can, guys. It comes from inside your hearts and inside your souls. And that is much easier said than done because it's a life work. It's not something that you fix in a day. It's not something if I just do this, I'm made.
It's a lifetime endeavor. It's work.
And you guys all look relatively depressed right now because it sounds really, really difficult. That's not a quick fix. That's not easy. Change your attitude. It sounds great, but it's work every day to wake up. The beauty of it is, if you know what you need to do, then one day you can come to doing it. So the story of my kids love, which I'm going to share with you to conclude, um, because we have a subset little shindig afterwards, but the story goes, it's also about this fellow, Zusha. And I could see from you guys faces you've heard, you might have heard it mentioned a couple times.
Um, Zusha had a brother whose name was Elimelech. And they were both great Hasidic masters, brilliant teachers. And what they would do was go around from city to city, village to village, uplifting the masses, telling them this exact message. Your attitude is responsible for your happiness. And what does your attitude need to be you. That your soul is connected to God's, just like every other Jew. Doesn't matter if it was Moses or Abraham. And you could celebrate the fact that you are connected to this great people. Am um Yisrael the same way. No difference. Even if you know nothing, you don't understand much. You're struggling every day to get by. You need to find the joy and the attitude that helps you get through life in a meaningful way. And they go around from city to city uplifting people.
One evening, they're walking in between two towns and they're engrossed in some deep Hasidic concept or thought, and they're not really paying attention to where they're walking. And sure enough, they're walking directly across the front lawn of the Parrots. The landowner, he's sitting in his big armchair, smoking his fat cigar, looking out of his window, and he sees these two scraggly, hairy, stringy wearing Jews across his front lawn. And he thinks, chutzpah. Who do they think they are, trespassing on my property? I'm going to teach them a little lesson. You don't just not know where you're going. I'm going to throw them in the local prison. Just, you know, teach them a thing or two. And so he throws them into the local prison. And this wasn't the Motel 6, you know, American prison society, where, you know, you get your TV and you exercise and you call to, you know, your lawyer and your visitation. This was just a beer room with a bunch of thugs. Different categories and levels and capabilities, all in the same room. No Amenities. This is where you are. So they come in and they're like, all right, this doesn't look good. We're Jews. Everyone here is Ivan and whatever. We're going to just hide out in the corner so we don't stir up any mini pogroms in here. Mind their own business. And that's what they do. And sure enough, no one bothers them.
They wake up in the morning.
Neli Melech starts crying. He's sobbing.
His brother looks and he says, what are you crying like? Big deal, we'll get out. You know, this is. This is. What's the big deal.
You don't understand.
Every single morning in my entire life, you know what I did when I woke up? I did what God tells me to do. I connected to God. I woke up every morning and the first thing I did was pray and connect to my creator. And here, today, I'm not able to do that.
You know why? Because look in the middle of the room. And he points in the center of the room, A, uh, disgusting smelling looking pot. Otherwise known as the chamber pot. This was the facilities, people. You have to do your business. Right there. No plumbing. Sorry, it hasn't been introduced yet. Even if it was, we're not going to expend the expense on you people. And that was it. It smelled. It was disgusting. It was repulsive. Jewish law states you cannot pray if you're in the room with something disgusting. So I'm not allowed to pray today. So today I can't wake up and connect to God, which I've done every day of my life. Suzucha looks at him and he says, I don't understand.
Every day you connect to God by praying. And today you're also doing what God tells you. You're also doing exactly what God wants. You're just connecting in a different way by not praying. But it's still God's will. You're still doing what God wants you to do, which is connect. Just today, it's in a different way. Bust out of your lunchbox and appreciate. You could do something different, and you're still connecting.
So Elimelech's eyes open wide, A big smile comes across his face, and he gives his brother Zusha a huge hug. He says, thank you. You opened my eyes. You taught me that. You're right. I could connect to God in a different way. And I'm still connecting. He's so happy and he's so excited with this new understanding and this revelation of how to serve God. He starts doing a little kazatsky And a little scene from Fiddler on the Roof. He starts kicking at his feet. And they're doing the ay, ay. I'm sure your chabad rabbi's choice to rope you in at some point. And you're like, no, thanks, we don't do that. Um, and they're dancing around, and sure enough, this Kazakh and Ivan, the pickpocket and the thief, and they start joining because whatever, they got something else to do. It's, we're having fun. We're going to kick it up a little bit. So, literally, Fiddler on the Roof. Two bearded Hiri Jews dancing around this chamber with a bunch of thugs singing and dancing. Everyone's showing off their moves. And, uh, it's a fabrigan.
The door bangs open and the guards like, what's going on in here? Like, this is prison, people. I don't know what you're celebrating.
So, of course, in an instant, all the. All the Russian peasants point to the Jews. It's not us. It's their fault. The Jews, the Jews.
Everyone shirks to the corner. The Jews are standing there. What were the Jews so excited about? So the one of the guys in the prison tells the guard, we're not sure. These Jews are crazy. Something about the chamber pot got them really excited. They're really enthusiastic. We don't really get what some understanding about the deeper creation and the effect of this chamber. We don't know. They're nuts. I mean, whatever. But they were celebrating, so whatever. We were just helping them, you know, Enjoy. There.
God's like, you're happy because of the chamber pot. I'll fix that. And he goes over, lifts it up, carries it out of the room, slams the door behind him. And Zusha turns to Elimelech and he says, now, my brother, you can daven.
What does this story say to us?
In some way or the other, everybody in our own lives have a chamber pot. Something that smells. It doesn't look so good. It's not so pretty.
It causes us pain and stress and agony. But, uh, everybody experiences on some level. The question is, is this something that I could work on, to view in a positive way? Or if not in a positive way, learn something from it or come away from it stronger and better. Then I could live a life that's meaningful, that's happy, and that's uplifting. And then I could be happy. If my pursuit is my soul, I can find happiness.
If my pursuit is happiness, I sometimes lose my soul.
And that doesn't feel good. So L' chaim to each and every one of us that we should have open and revealed reasons for celebration. We shouldn't have to be be Zushes and Elimelech finding joy in poverty and dancing around the chamber path. Things should just be smooth and easy. But anytime we come across a bump in the road, know that our heritage teaches us our tradition says the way you view it, your perspective on it is what's going to get you through it. And PS don't ever use that on anyone else. Only on yourself.
That's all for today.
[00:46:49] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to Inside the Gift Jewish Mind, a, uh, JLI podcast. Be sure to join us every week for fresh insights and timeless Jewish ideas.
As always, stay curious, keep learning, and we'll see you next time.
